As we have got used to, the FIFA World Cup is always staged in the USA and the 2050 edition was no different.

Spread across three months and in over 30 major stadiums the now yearly event dominates the football calendar.

All of the 211 members take part and they are all guaranteed at least three group matches.

From tiny Montserrat to India and everywhere in-between each country now gets their moment of fame.

All those complaints from Europe have been extinguished, leaving president-for-life 80-year-old Gianni Infantino a free ‘reign’ to control the world of football. 

This is how he does it.

 

Of course, the days when real fans could watch live games have long gone.

But they can go to their nearest big screen or fan park, assuming their robot minders are present.

Now there is no whining about ticket prices as over 99% of the stadiums are filled by co-ordinated robots and hospitality attendees (many struggle to differentiate the groups)

 

However, for the lucky few there are a few rows of seats, near the front, for specially selected actual fans.

Naturally they all have to be in fancy dress and must shout and scream whenever the cameras get close and they should include a young child who must be in tears whenever his team concedes a goal.

 

Those media that are allowed in should always praise the atmosphere & not complain about the timeouts, drinks breaks, the inane, screaming dj’s, and the replays of speeches by Donald Trump.

 

Obviously the matches now take a lot longer with an hour or more of ‘entertainment’ added to the actual football.

But as most people are being wined and dined they don’t seem to care, whilst if you are at home (as most fans obviously are) you can always go into hypersleep with guidance from your house robot.

 

Soccer, as it is universally called now, was once played by teams of eleven players and took ninety minutes plus a ten minute interval at half time.

But that was a lifetime ago.

Now we have got used to those advertising breaks, and, of course, special teams.

All corners and set plays now involve the introduction of a complete set of new players who are often extremely tall.

Equally certain free kicks will signal the bringing on of experts to deliver precise shots and crosses.

And if a match goes to a penalty shootout, as we know drawn matches are no longer allowed, a certain type of goalkeeper is required.

He is either extremely large or extremely manic.

 

I know that all those old timers will wonder what has happened to the game they just about remember.

But think of the money that has been brought into football: Ok you cannot see any live games but look at how that largesse has been distributed across the world.

Every country now has a statue of Infantino and an airport named after Donald Trump.

 

Needless to say in 2050 the Cup was won by the holders, team USA.

As always, some accusations were muttered, sotto voce, particularly when all the red cards they received were annulled, but they were just sour grapes.

 

Of the other contenders it amused many when England lost out yet again, making it 84 years of hurt.

Their ex-British neighbours, Scotland, triumphed again – by drinking all the beer in Boston, despite their team losing every game.

Norway rowed, Argentina also rowed, Brazil looked good in yellow for a while, and Italy had the best suits.

And Tuvalu v British Virgin Islands, despite the gripes, was still watched by 60,000 (albeit mostly robots)

 

Of course, the final presentations now take a whole day, with a complete Coldplay album to get through and as everyone gets a medal, it takes ages for the aged Infantino and a hologram of Donald Trump to give them out.

 

So that is what happened at the WC 2050, in a world when President Musk and his AI cyborgs govern everyone.

It’s football, or rather soccer, but not as you know it.

Don’t like it? Well, the next rocket to Mars is scheduled to take off soon.

From his spaceship – Art Inglis.